Saturday, January 19, 2008

Review: Motel Hell (1980) [Reviewed By Kelsey Zukowski]

Motel Hell
Starring: Rory Calhoun, Paul Linke, Nina Axelrod, Nancy Parsons
Directed By: Kevin Conner
Written By: Robert Jaffe, Steven-Charles Jaffe
Released: 1980
Grade: B+

In many horror movies, killers use some justifications for their sins. It is often revenge, but sometimes it is more complex than that. In Se7en, it was the theory that everyone is a sinner and that those that sinned are the ones who should be killed as a way of setting an example. In Saw, Jigsaw’s justification was that he was determining the strength and intelligence that humans possessed. However, Motel Hell has the most bizarre justification I have heard thus far. The justification for the killing in this film is that by killing, the population problem is being taken care of. This makes it appear that there is nothing personal or evil about it. It is simply what one has to do in order to have the proper amount of people populating the world.

Farmer Vincent (Calhoun) owns his own farm out in the country. He butchers meat as well. This meat is thought of as the best there is. It is only administered to those who live in the area though. This is because he has a limited amount of meat. What most people don’t know though is that this meat consists of more than one animal. Sure he uses the typical cows and pigs, but he also uses the meat of humans. Farmer Vincent and his sister, Ida (Parsons), are on the look out for human flesh. They trap any humans who happen to be roaming around. This is where they get creative though. They don’t simply trap and kill them, but the set up the illusion of growing them. Farmer Vincent buries the bodies alive in the ground. The victim’s vocal chords are ripped out so they can’t scream for help. They can’t really move either; they are merely helpless vegetables. The farmer has a whole field of these people. He later skins them and adds them to his meat recipe, thus turning his whole town in to cannibals without even knowing it.

When two teenagers wander in to the town, they fall in to one of Farmer Vincent’s traps. The boy is taken to be one of the farmer’s newest victims. However, he takes the girl, Terry (Axelrod), in to his home. She temporarily stays there and tries to get acquainted as she gets over the loss of her boyfriend. Meanwhile, she has the farmer’s brother, Sheriff Bruce, constantly hitting on her. Terry however, ironically, becomes closer to Farmer Vincent instead. This causes a strike of jealousy to Ida. Ida is used to being the only women in Vincent’s life. She is not ready to share him and she tries to turn on Terry. However, her plan backfires and they end up planning a wedding. Terry still really doesn’t know what she is getting in to though. When she finds out the horrors that her new fiancé commits on a daily basis, will she still want to spend her life with him? Will she want to be a part of these horrors? If not, she may become one of his many victims just as her boyfriend was.

Motel Hell thrives on the ideas and themes that are a part of the film. As I mentioned before, the idea of justification through controlling the population is very strong. It is something new and original, especially for a movie that is almost 30 years old. It is wild, because it is possible that serial killers could very well think that way. Both the farmer and his sister seem so nonchalant about the whole thing. At one point, Ida, walks in to the garden and greets one of the “vegetables” like she would her neighbor on any other day. It is no big deal to them, it is just part of their routine and growing their garden. Yet they do it in a sarcastic way that let’s you in to their minds a little more. The whole thing is done in such a way that we kind of know it’s all a joke. It has to be, because the whole thing seems so ridiculous. There is no cruelty to their voices although there is in their actions. It is as if these killers are evil, and knowing what they are doing, but like they actually have convinced themselves that they are perfectly normal.

The gore in the movie correlates with the actions accurately. There is enough gore to show the threat the farmers impose. Yet this movie wasn’t made solely for the gore. It has others things in mind as well and it hits all of the bases as it should. The dialogue in Motel Hell is absolutely hilarious. This is because the situation is so out there. Since the killers act as if they are doing nothing wrong, the situational irony alone gives you plenty of laughs. Not to mention that the dialogue alone was written very well. The audience knows the horrors that are going on and we watch Terry fall in to a trap that we know she will have a hell of a time getting out of. Yet, we don’t so much fear for her, as much as we just enjoy watching the movie. It is very well paced and you kind of just don’t care as much about other things. You just enjoy watching it as it goes along because it is so entertaining that it controls your attention second by second.

Review: Paprika (2006) [Reviewed By Clifford Kiyabu]

Directed by: Satoshi Kon
Written by: Yasutaka Tsutsui and Seishi Minakami
Genre: Animation / Mystery / Sci-Fi
MPAA: Rated R for violent and sexual images.
Released: 2006
Starring: Megumi Hayashibara, Tôru Furuya, Kôichi Yamadera, Katsunosuke Hori, Toru Emori, Akio Ôtsuka, Hideyuki Tanaka, Satomi Koorogi, Daisuke Sakaguchi, Mitsuo Iwata, Rikako Aikawa, Shinichirô Ôta, Satoshi Kon, Yasutaka Tsutsui.

Plot: When a machine that allows therapists to enter their patient's dreams is stolen, all hell breaks loose. Only a young female therapist can stop it: Paprika.

Rating: 9/10





My Thoughts: Paprika is another movie I so badly wanted to see in theaters, but it was only showing at the Hawaii film festival here in Honolulu and I unfortunately didn’t find out about this until after the film festival was over. So I had searched high and low at the local mom an pop stores to see if any had the Japanese DVD. But I was out of luck. So I had to do what most people do these days. I waited till it was realest on DVD here in the US. And my god have I ever been so excited in my life to see an anima such as this, the last time I was like this was for Katsuhiro Ôtomo’s Steamboy, and was that a blast.
So after finally watching I must say that not only did the movie meet my expectations, but it exceeded it. the animation was so stunning it was pure pleasure for the eyes, as well as the complex highly intelligent plot that is like food for the mind. And the score which is done by Susumu Hirasawa is pure energy for the soul. I man have you ever heard music that was so emotionally powerful that it had you stuck with a smile on your face every time you hear it? I did when I heard the score to Paprika. I love it so much that I just bought the soundtrack off of Itunes and I’m listing to it as I write this very review.

The storyline is about a group of therapists us a machine to tap into the dreams of the mentally insane to help them get better. But when the machine goes missing all hell breaks loose the someone is using it to enter the dreams of people and putting them under there control, but the more serious problem at hand is that whoever is doing using this device is also breaking the boundaries between dreams and reality and causing our dreams to become reality and It looks like all hope is lost, but there is one person who can stop whoever it is that is doing this, and her name is Chiba Atsuko a young female therapist who’s alter ego is Paprika an alter form that can enter the minds and dreams of all to help. But can Paprika stop this madness before it takes hold of the entire world?

Now I must worn you that this is not like your daddy’s cartoon from the old days and is in no way something for children to watch as it is Rated R for violent, language, and sexual images. So please be careful while watching this if you have little ones in the house. and for those of you who don’t really watch anime probably wont care too much for this but I still hope you watch it as it is one of the best anime movies and stories I’ve ever seen, and for the true anime fans, well this is without a doubt something that will bring tiers to your eyes out of pure joy and something that is going to be remembered for many years to come.

Final Say: I can’t express anymore on how much I love this movie without giving away key points to the plot. So I will leave it at that. I highly rearmament it!

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Friday, January 18, 2008

Review: The Condemned (2008) [Reviewed By Clifford Kiyabu]

Directed by: Scott Wiper
Written by: Scott Wiper and Rob Hedden
Genre: Action / Crime / Thriller
Released: 2007


MPAA: Rated R for pervasive strong brutal violence, and for language.
Starring: Steve Austin, Vinnie Jones, Robert Mammone, Tory Mussett, Manu Bennett, Madeleine West, Rick Hoffman, Christopher Baker, Sam Healy, Luke Pegler, Masa Yamaguchi, Emelia Burns, Dasi Ruz, Marcus Johnson, Nathan Jones,

Plot: Jack Conrad, who is awaiting the death penalty in a corrupt Central American prison is purchased by a wealthy television producer and taken to a desolate island where he must fight to the death against nine other condemned killers from all corners of the world, with freedom going to the sole survivor.

Rating: 6/10



My Thoughts: Alright, so I finally got to watch The Condemned. And I will say the movie was somewhat a mix bag. It has a bad plot that has way to much holes in it to really call it a plot in the first place. It also at times it’s dialogue can get a little too cheesy for even cheese lovers. lol. But it still manages to pull off keeping the viewer entertained with an arsenal of explosions and pulse pounding martial arts and street style fighting sequences that will keep your eyes to the screen.


But other than that I wouldn’t hold my breath for anything. So for movie gores that watch movie only for the plot, this is not your film. But if you're in the mood for some mindless action and fun, than this film will make your night.
The story is about a multi millionaire set up an illegal show on an small desolate island in the middle of nowhere with ten prisoners from around the world who have all been sent to death. The rules, all ten must fight and kill each other until one remains. The winner gets his/hers freedom and a big amount of money while it is all being broadcasted on the internet all over the world.



Now as I’ve said there really isn’t any plot, just an outline of what might have been a plot. But you’ll soon forget about it when the action starts up. as for disappointments well the plot being one of the problems here, because when the action does slow done you begin to ask questions that wont get answers. And the other problem is in a movie that mostly taking place on an island with ten people trying to kill each other, they cut away from the island to much to try and bring in too many side characters that aren’t even on the island and give them character development when the film doesn’t even have a real plot anyway, I mean if anything needs development it should have been the plot and the main characters.
As for the acting. Well I can tell there isn’t much there, like the dialogue it’s pretty cheesy, the only ones that do a pretty good job would have to be Steve Austin and Vinnie Jones. Steve Austin does a nice performance making you like him as the good and honest badass he is.
But I think after almost 20 years of “cough” acting “cough” pro wrestling you have be at lease somewhat experience in the field. And of course the man himself Vinnie Jones does a great performance doing what he does best, as being kick ass killer that he is. I mean any movie that involves aa out of control killer that’s British should be played by him as I loved every minute he was in, in fact he was one of the only things that made this movie somewhat enjoyable. With out him this would have been 100% crap.
Final Say: I even though it was a disappointment it’s still something to take a look at if you have nothing to and in the mood for a little mindless fun. I recommend it for renting only.
Copyright 2008 TCWreviews.com
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Review: The Naked Mile - Unrated (2006) [Reviewed By Clifford Kiyabu]

Directed by: Joe Nussbaum
Written by: Adam Herz and Erik Lindsay
Genre: Comedy
Released: 2006
MPAA: R for pervasive strong sexual content and crude humor, nudity, language, drinking and some drug use - all involving teens.
Starring: John White, Maria Ricossa, Christopher McDonald, Joe Bostick, Alyssa Nicole Pallett, Jessica Booker, Jake Siegel, Ross Thomas, Michelle Cormier, Stephany Sexton, Jessy Schram, Billy Turnbull, J.J. Gallo, Shomari Downer, Jordan Madley.

Plot: When Erik Sifler gets a free pass to do whatever he wants from his girlfriend, he and his two best friends head to see his cousin Dwight for the Naked Mile and a weekend they will never forget.

Rating: 5/10






My Thoughts: So I saw The Naked Mile the other night and I must say it was more disappointing than Band Camp. Now for those of you that don’t know what The Naked Mile is, it’s the fourth installment in the American Pie series. And it seems that the movies get ridiculously dumber with every new installment. Plus the fact that actor Eugene Levy reprises his role as Mr. Levenstein (or as we know him best as Jim’s dad) was somewhat out of place, it made sense way he’s in the first second and third American Pie films because he’s Jim’s dad, but when he showed up in American Pie Presents: Band Camp that made me say “huh” not to mention all but two of the original cast returned for Band Camp. And now for The Naked Mile only one.
Now what I found to be a little annoying is the fact that the most recent American Pie films all focuses entirely on the Stifler family, which doesn’t make sense because as I remembered the first three American Pie films correctly, Jim Levenstein (Jason Biggs) was the main character and Steve Stifler was only a side character. And sure his role got bigger in the second and third film but he always remained a secondary character in the films. Than here comes the fourth installment with Steve Stifler younger brother Matt Stifler, which acts if just like his brother.

And than just when you think there are no more Stifler’s to show up we get Erik Stifler, the cousin of Steve Stifler. Now the thing that annoyed me the most was the fact they made all the Stiflers act the same way, now that was a big no for me because the first Stifler acted the way he did because he was like that, and it was understandable why is brother would act like that too. But to make all the men in the Stifler family like that was just down right silly and had me rolling my eyes at the screen.

The story is about Erik Sifler the only Sifler that isn’t living up to his family name as he is still a virgin, worried that he might graduate a virgin he tries to get his girlfriend to have sex with him, but after telling him she’s not yet ready she gives him a weekend guilt free pass to have sex with any girl or girls he wants with no guilt what so ever. So him and his buddy’s go to visit his cousin Dwight Sifler in collage to take part in the Naked Mile and enjoy a weekend they’ll never forget.


Now you probably already know that acting is bad. And I mean BAD! But what they seem to do is cover up the bad acting with lots and lots of hot naked girls in most of the movie, which does it's job as you'll only be staring at the hot T&A all over the place.

Final Say: the movie isn’t worth owning nor really worth running out the door to watch, but if you’re in the mood to watch a another dumb teen comedy or just trying to kill some time than check this out. Other than that I wouldn’t recommend it.

Copyright 2008 TCWreviews.com
All Rights Reserved

Review: War (2007) [Reviewed By Clifford Kiyabu]

Directed by: Philip G. Atwell
Genre: Action / Thriller more
MPAA: Rated R for sequences of strong bloody violence, sexuality/nudity and language.
Cast: Jet Li, Jason Statham, John Lone, Devon Aoki, Luis Guzmán, Saul Rubinek, Ryo Ishibashi, Sung Kang, Mathew St. Patrick, Nadine Velazquez, Andrea Roth, Kenneth Choi, Mark Cheng.

Plot: An FBI Agent seeks vengeance on a mysterious assassin known as "Rogue" who murdered his partner.


Rating: 5/10


My Thoughts: War is a very misleading and somewhat disappointing film to watch. Misleading because the trailers advertises this film as a war between two men (Jet Li and Jason Statham) but instead there so-called war takes a backseat throughout most of the film, with the true plot of the film dealing with mostly Jet Li’s character playing both sides of a gang war to his advantage taking the lead. An all to familiar story that has been recycled throughout various amounts of films in Hollywood.

The story is about three years after Special Agent Jack Crawford partner is murdered by a legendary assassin known only as, Rogue (Li) Agent Crawford (Statham) is bent on avenging his fallen partner by any means necessary. Meanwhile Rogue has an agenda of his own playing both sides of a gang war between the Yakuza and the Triads.

Now as for the acting, well it’s nothing special really, well than again that might give you the hint that I may have liked it. So I will elaborate for you. Jason Stathamis is the kind of actor that’s not known for giving outstanding performances, Like actor Vinnie Jones, Jason Stathamis’s sole purpose is to be onscreen kicking mega bad guy ass and nothing more, so don’t look forward for anything spectacular on his part, because you wont get any. As for Jet Li I was somewhat disappointed with him in this one because after seeing him do an outstanding performance in Hero and than being blown away by his performance again in Unleashed and than once more in Fearless, I have nothing but respect for the guy, but his acting in this was as bad as the time he acted in Cradle 2 the Grave, and the bad part is we’ve seen this same type of character in some of his other bad films like Romeo Must Die, Kiss of the Dragon, The One, and of course Cradle 2 the Grave. But in the end with all that bad movies he’s done you can’t hold it against him, because he has done a quite impressive amount of good films as well.

But the biggest problem was not the acting or the recycled storyline, but the ending itself. See the movie runs nicely and rather smoothly until it riches the ending, at which point everything is rushed so fast that it left me saying what the hell! Not to mention the first and only real time Jet Li and Jason Stathamis actually fight each other is at the end, which last only about 2 minute at the very most. So very disappointing.

Final Say: I was really starting to like this movie until the disappointing ending happened, but if you are in the mood to watch an senseless action movie. Than this will be for you as it falls into the rental fairly category.

Copyright 2008 TCWreviews.com
All Rights Reserved